l of us have heard about healing the inner child or transcending the ego. But not many of us have heard the term Inner Shadow or Shadow Self. Everyone struggles with past child hood traumas and our ridged self image. That most of us are not aware of the third peace to healing, our inner shadow. Our inner shadow can control our emotions with old outdated stories of past mistakes or actions where we felt inadequate or out of place or acted different than the social norm. It is all those feelings of shame, doubt and guilt. Being condition to think that we must hide our mistakes from the world and others. This awareness of unpleasant feelings or the feeling that we have done wrong causes this inner separation within our light body. Removing the dark heavy emotions and creating a shadow self. For our body, mind and spirit to flow and evolve we must merge both our shadow and light side.
In a world where we have been conditioned to believe through social media, the school system, family and friends, that nothing but perfection is acceptable and that mistakes make you weak or unworthy of love. That thinking and feeling different is unacceptable. We create this separation within our emotional body so we can manage life and not walk around feeling broken and inferior all the time. It is a self defense mechanism that helps us survive our very hectic lives. Where we are constantly being bombarded with different messages on how to behave, live our lives, act at work, parent our children and be a friend. We live our lives in a sense of deficit. Where no matter how much you give, sacrifice, work or deprive yourself, you always feel like someone is complaining, that all your efforts are not good enough. Our physical body is in survival mode and our vibration fluctuates so quickly that we are at the mercy of the world and the people around us. Who are dragging us through a revolving door of emotional ups and downs.
Healing the Shadow Self
Healing the Shadow self is an inside job. Coaches, counsellors and healer can guide you, but you have to connect and embrace the inner shadow. You have learned that the shadow self is all those emotions of inadequacy, shame and quilt we have accumulated through out our life time. Through experiencing judgment and criticism from people, family or the outside world. Making us believe that our behaviour in that moment was wrong or inappropriate. Therefore, taking the judgement as truth because it came from an authority figure or someone we admired or loved. Believing that we should hide that part of ourselves from the world and others. So we take those emotions and disassociated with them and separate them from ourselves and put it in a dark place within us, hidden behind a locked door never to be seen by the light of day or anyone else. But we are humans and making mistakes is part of our nature. So it doesn’t take too long before we create contrast in our life. Which can bring on the judgment and criticism of other and even our selves. Therefore, triggering our shadow self to escape from it hiding place. Making us feel shame and guild which leads to a sense of unworthiness.
The concept of healing your inner shadow is simple, but it takes empathy, compassion and patience. The only way to sooth and heal our shadow self is to integrate it back to our light body. How do we do that? By loving all its imperfections, its perceived wrongs and accepting the perfection of our flaws and shifting them into lessons and wisdom. By understanding that all your shadow self needs and wants is to be loved. To be accepted and cherished for its drive to be different and its need to make mistakes and learn from them. That without us making mistakes and having misunderstandings we would not learn what we want or how to fix, change or adapt to new life challenges. That we need to figure the wrong way to do things so that we have the courage to try and resolve the issue that arise.
An exercise to help you connect to and heal your Shadow Self
So next time you make a mistake or feeling or inadequate or shame pops up, I want you to try this simple exercise.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath, inhaling very deeply to the count of four. Then when you are done inhaling hold your breath for a count of two. Then exhale pushing the air out of your mouth for a count of four. Repeat this deep breathing two more times.
Now that you are present and centered allow that feeling of shame or guilt to arise within you. Remember emotions can trigger physical responses but a feeling is just trying to tell you something about your thoughts, environment or showing you that something within you needs healing. Emotions are transitory, they are tools we use to align us to a deeper wisdom. So just feel, accept and integrate that unpleasant emotion with in your body. It will feel uncomfortable at first but the more you surrender and allow, the faster the healing process.
Now show that feeling compassion and empathy. What would you say if it was your friend, child or family member that is feeling this way? How would you soothe them and make them feel safe and loved? Say those things to your self and when you are ready when the feelings are softening and dissipating, imagine that you and your light body are hugging your shadow self. Embracing it and surrounding it with love. Feel your inner shadow sigh and melt back into your light body with joy and acceptance. Happy to be seen and appreciated.
When you are ready take a deep breath and exhale through your mouth, feeling gratitude for this transformative experience and thank yourself for being so brave and facing this healing process head on.
We are magnificent beings here to learn and grow. So lets thrive in our healing and connect to all our most authentic parts of our selves and who we truly are, divine beings of love and light.
Remember you are not alone in this journey called life and if you are in need of help please reach out to me and I can help you navigate the deep ocean of your emotions and befriend your Shadow Self.
Aaron Abke - The 3 Stages of Shadow Work
Aaron Abke - Shadow Work & Inner Healing Meditation
Steve Noble - Ascension News: Embracing Our Shadow Selves